SOLDIER OR CANCER VICTIM!

What does someone expect at 6 am on a Sunday morning..Did I get any appreciation out of this deal???????Nope, not any, or at least, yet. This is Jim's weekend to "play Army" and somehow this became my problem. Jim needed a haircut. I told him his hair was getting a little long. He put it off, came home yesterday and announced at dinner, "I need to get a haircut", then proceeded to tell me about Loya and how he messed up his hair and had to shave it all off. Loya's comrades proceeded to call him Uncle Fester all day yesterday. Well, for some reason Jim has decided he doesn't want to spend $7.50 on a haircut(yeah, whatever, bet you won't make that mistake again!!!). Jim is a collector of gadgets, he loves them all and believes they all work. He bought this ridiculous 1 inch haircutter to take with him when he left for Iraq. Let me assure you, it doesn't work. Here I was at 6 am ( I know, what was I thinking. I tell Jim I'll do something for him and he literally takes it as a spoken contract), doing his hair before he has to leave. Well, first off, Jim has hair like a cat. Soft, limp, and unruly(yes, that is a word). I did what he told me to do, and when I stood back to take a look at the final results of my early morning labor, I couldn't control it---I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. He looked like a cat who had gotten wet...His hair was a mess. There were patches that were cut to the skin(don't know how I did that), and some hair was scraggly. Jim just sat there and reminded me , he was going to be in formation with 30 something of America's finest in about an hour and Fester. He went into the bathroom to asess the damage. All I heard was my name in a very loud voice "SANDRA". Well, it didn't sound very friendly and Jim is not in a habit of raising his voice to me, so I tried to ignore it and went back to bed. Well, there he was at the foot of the bed telling me he couldn't and wouldn't walk out of the house looking like a cancer victim(now please do not take offense to this, he only meant that his hair looked like it had come in in different lengths all over). He had found Steve's hair trimmer and told me to just cut it off all over. I got up and did it, laughing the whole time. I couldn't help it, really, I couldn't. Alas, it was over!!! I stood back and again burst out laughing (come on, it was 6:30 and i was not fully awake yet, not to mention I had not even smelled the aroma of coffee at this point!). He had more hair coming out his nose and off his eyebrows than he did off his head. But at least it was even. My suggestion for the next time he doesn't want to spend $7.50 for a haircut, use my Nair for legs. It works perfect everytime. Well, I can't wait to hear what America's finest name will be for my soldier today when he gets home. All I can is what goes around, comes around. And Jim, didn't your beany fit a little looser today since you had no hair?????bwahahahaha...don't worry, honey, I am laughing with you, not at you...Oh i forgot , you aren't laughing...Ok, I feel like I can go back to bed now...My duty to America is over....